A Bum With A Hole.

I gotta hole in my bum! I seriously have an inverted hole large enough for me to store a pea in my rear end!

Yesterday I had a biopsy of my bone marrow. I thought it was best for me to avoid the computer since I already made a fool of myself around the friends that have been watching our kids. I was loaded up. Yes, this chick that never took Tylenol because of the 'chemicals' took Valium. Despite the name, it didn't reduce my volume. But fortunately I wasn't slapping leprachuns off peoples shoulders either. Dr. Atienza (my oncologist) is fantastic. I think he likes digging into peoples butts. He laughed the whole time...which made me laugh...and in turn made my butt jiggle...and probably is the reason for the nice little eraser size hole. :)

So when I say he went in the dimple... where do you think that was? I thought about the part that inverted when you squeezed your butt cheeks together. Nope. That's not where he ripped me a new one. I got up on the table, layed on my stomach and pulled my pants about 3/4 down my butt thinking he was going in from the side. He walked over and ever so slightly pulled my underwear down and started feeling for bone. What? That's not my butt. He went into the licence plate part. That sensitive part that if someone smacks me, I turn around and tear them up. Yeah, that part. A huge tray of material was wheeled in and in order to avoid looking for the needle I started staring at the wall. I voiced my opinion then...I was rather upset that he didn't have a magazine article taped on the wall for me to read. I'm not so sure if the numbing part was worse... or the drilling into the bone... or the marrow withdrawal. I told him I was thinking of a song to scream when the lydocaine went in...he told me to sing it...but I refused because I didn't want him to pawn me off to a different Doctor after. When I felt him drill tap into the bone I mentioned I felt something. Max said "yeah it's because you just peed your pants". For clarification purposes, I didn't... but we sure do know how to get the staff laughing. From then on it was a laughing matter. Those people are never going to look at Max and I the same. We talked about some strange stuff...but that's what made it a memorable experience. They took the liquid part and solid part of my marrow. He only took a tiny bit but it sure did feel like he sucked everything from my knee on up. People say its a painful procedure. I think the word painful is used because there is no other way to explain it. It was a strange indescribable feeling. I was out and about today so it's not something that wiped me out...but I'm not a wimp either. I'm one tough Mama...ask my family, they'll agree. I feel crippled when I go from sitting to standing but that might have something to do with icing. No, he didn't prescribe chocolate icing. He wanted me to put ice on the area. Instead, we ended up staying at our friends house so I could make a fool of myself playing Battle of the Sexes. Mental note for next time, one can ice and play games at the same time.

Results wont take long to come back. But he doesn't want to see me until after the lung and heart tests (that I take this Thursday) come back in. Can't blame him. He needs time to recoup from yesterdays visit. :) We are scheduled to discuss all the test results the morning of April 23rd and that is also the day my fight begins. I start my very first chemo treatment.

We also decided to get me a porthole...I mean medi-port. I'll talk more about that when I get my appointment scheduled for the procedure on Monday.

**On a side note- I met and talked to a young lady in Old Navy today while shopping for a birthday present. I know God placed her there to talk to me. She was about my age and just finished chemo a little over a month ago. I'm amazed at the little things God does...but in awe daily of the big picture!!

Butt I'm Tired

I cant wait to blog about the bone marrow biopsy. I'm exhausted and my butt is nicely telling me to go to bed. I'll update this post and share my experience with you guys tomorrow. It was actually a funny experience...seriously. I'm not in pain...but don't expect me to crawl under a car and change the transmission tomorrow morning.

A Glow in the Dark Full Moon

As I stepped foot into a local civilian hospital this morning, I immediately felt lost. I had to go to administration to fill out more paperwork and after, they kindly directed me towards radiology. They called me back to ask if I would like the contrast as just water or lemonade. You mean I have a choice? WOW! I tried it as water...but it wasn't pure enough for my taste buds so I opted to flavor it with more chemicals and sugar lemonade powder. Remembering that I have been down this road before, I decided it was easier to chug it and drain my bladder half a dozen times before I went in for the scan. The kids went with today and were asking why they couldnt drink from my big cup. "They put some stuff in here and it makes my insides glow in the dark so when I go through a machine the Dr can see everything inside me." I'm not too bad at putting it in easy terms. An hour later they called me back and laid me down to start the IV for contrast. She was either sent a memo from Portsmouth Naval or flat out read my face as I walked in. The staff was great...that makes all these visits easier. They put me in a tube that talked to me "Hold your breath.....breathe. Do not swallow. Hold your breath.....breathe." It was quite a demanding little machine. I need to get back into yoga for breathing control just for that automated voice lady since I'll be visiting her quite often. The contrast was different this time. It wasn't a one time feeling...it was constant drip when they started it. Do you know what it feels like to pee your pants for a few minutes? I do. ;)

This Friday I go in for the biopsy of my bone marrow. A great opportunity for me to moon the Dr and him not be offended. I have my PFT and MUGA scheduled for the end of next week. I can't start chemo until those results get back to my Oncologist so I'm assuming my start date will be pushed back some.

Off to sleep again. I cat nap often these days. I need to be ready for the Girls Gone Godly study tonight. I'm excited because we will be talking about "Worry Warts"....you know, something that applies to none of my family or friends...

Worry never empties tomorrow of sorrow, but it does empty it of its strength. Don't let anyone rob you of your confidence in God. Know His Word. Hold on to His hand. He will make your impossible mission possible and your life so much more than bearable. -Barbara Johnson

A Little Bit of Everything

What a gorgeous weekend we had. Max got a great dose of vitamin D working in the yard. The kids were mostly found somewhere between the trampoline and the swing set. How did I spend it? Going through the kids clothes getting rid of the winter ones that don't fit, and pulling out my fantastic end of season buys from last year and wonderful hand-me-downs to see what else will be needed before I start treatment. Go figure today we are under Tornado Watch/Warnings. Gotta love Virginia weather.


On April Fools Day Max had duty. Kalee didn't realize that it was April 1st until about dinner time...so no, she didn't switch the cereal bags. Instead, when I went to brush my teeth that night my toothbrush was no where to be found. I shout "Anyone know where my toothbrush is?"....Kalee comes in to the bathroom with a giggle, "it's under the sink, April Fools!"


The other night she was playing with Little-Ann (AKA: Lilly-Ann, Diddle-Dan...) and out of the blue asked "Mommy, do dogs have to be married to have babies?" WHAT?? Um, well....yeah, that was so unexpected and I had no time to rehearse a proper answer. "Dogs are a little different then humans honey. They learn about each other by sniffing each others butts. You don't see me sniffing butts when I meet someone do you?" Kalee, "Ohhh, but how do they have babies?" "Well, it still takes a male dog and a female dog just like it takes a woman and a man." Fortunately that was enough to hold her over until next time... Wshew! I need to order this book and keep it on hand for us to read together. I'd rather be prepared for when that time comes that the one or two things I say arent enough to answer her questions.

Saturday night, I participated in welcoming my Sailor friend Amber, home from the sandbox. She left her husband and 3 children days after Thanksgiving to serve as a Sailger in the Narmy (not a typo...newer terms for IA). I'm so glad she made it back to her family. We went out to eat with 2 other couples that attend the same life group...and I tell ya I have never laughed so hard. I walked out of the restaurant with a huge smile and sore ab's. Those couples bring out the best in us...I love them!

Break is over. Must get Kalee started on her next assignment so I can continue my list of phone calls for testing and such this week. Chemo should start a week from today. Wow!

A Plan Of Attack!

My brain is on overload. Do not be afraid!

As many know I met with the oncologist today. I did mention my brain is on overload...right? Well, I'm going to try a mind dump since it's late. Nothing fancy.

My diagnosis is Nodular Sclerosing Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It is in my neck, chest and spleen. He said I have an uncommon form of it. I have always been unique though, haven't I?

I have several tests to get done next week. In Averi words, I need one to check out my heart, another for my lungs, another CT scan to use as a baseline (can't wait for that pee in my pants feeling), some basic lab work and a bone marrow biopsy. Something else was on that list but can't remember.

I go in on the end of the week for the bone marrow fun. He said he goes through the dimple in my butt....I'm curious as to which one...and pulls from the hip...unfortunately lipo is not included in this procedure. If the bone marrow comes back showing the disease then this treatment plan may be revised. As of now I'm at stage 3 cancer. If it's in the marrow then I will be considered at stage 4. Do not be afraid.

The plan of attack is.... I should start chemo treatment the Monday following the biopsy (day after Easter). I will go in every other week for treatment and the day after, will always go in for a shot to increase my white blood cell count. Two treatments = one cycle. I have to go through four cycles and then we will do another CT. If results show everything gone I will have two more cycles and be done. If it shows something then he will increase to four cycles and do more testing to make sure it's gone. Soooo, I'm looking at about 6-8 months of treatment.

He will give me 4 different chemo drugs. Can't for the life of me pronounce, spell or even remember them but he went through them one by one explaining side effects. I remember him saying I will loose my hair...which is sooooo ok with me AS LONG AS I loose everything between my arm pits and my toe hair. I'll consider myself jipped otherwise:) One drug may give me the runs but another may constipate me...so that balances things out... right? I can get mouth sores....ehh, ok. Tired and nauseousness is also common....been there done that two times for about a nine month stretch each (seriously guys I know there is a difference). No problem! Why??? Because there is no problem too big for my God! He is in control!

Max has been at EVERY appointment with me so far. He is an excellent question asker and I have grown to love him more every day. We have lots of military related paperwork to do (EFMP for you military folk that understand)...but pray that it's all made easy for him/us and the Doctor.

Kalee and Bear have and understanding appropriate for their age. We have been answering Kalees questions as she asks but am not overwhelming her with too many details. Bear said "no more nu-nu when you get the medicine, huh Mommy?"...so I take it he understands they will be out of commission after 6 1/2 years of honorable service.

I'm so tired...I need to sleep. I missed my regular nap today. I bet when I read this tomorrow I'm going to ask "What was I thinking?" I know better then to blog when I'm delirious...see how much I love you guys?

... God's love is unconditional.

Do not be afraid!

I'm doing the...

happy dance! Ooo-ooo! I'm thankful for the lady in the Tricare office at Portsmouth Naval helping me out. After 3 hours of talking on the phone I'm finally scheduled for an Oncology appointment tomorrow at noon! Heck with the estimated 7-10 days for the referral to process...God is in control!

My Dr's Appointment

Yesterday we had my last appointment in General Surgery. The staff has been fantastic! The Doctor looked to see how my incision was healing. I told him "my friend said when I get old it'll look like a wrinkle." He chuckled and said "neck line". It looks great. I have to keep sun block on it otherwise if it burns it will always be discolored. I hate the smell of sunblock! I have been looking into essential oils recently so this is a great place to experiment with. As for now I'll keep applying Melaleuca Alternifolia oil (tea tree oil) at night and Vitamin E oil during the day to keep the scar visibility to a minimum.

I have been on the phone all morning trying to speed up this process but it's not getting me far. Right now I'm waiting for Portsmouth Naval's Oncology Clinic to either approve me to be seen there or approve me to be differed out to a civilian. Once that happens I will be able to make an appointment and know my treatment plan.

I know. Hurry up and wait. Welcome to my life as a Navy Wife. That's what keeps things interesting with this lifestyle.