Let-er-Rip

Can ya guess what I did today? Clean? What made you think that? Gosh I love talking to myself. Yes I cleaned. I needed to vacuum the colored-fish crumbs that Bear ground into the car seat. Colored ones...not orange ones. Why do they call orange fish 'goldfish'? Doesn't make sense. Then they have a 'Go-fish' game...that for the longest time I thought was called 'Goldfish'. Enough fish talk. My little shrimp Kalee wanted the colored goldfish...but as far as I knew they were only in little packages. Me being the thrifty person that can stretch a buck across the state of Texas...said only if they make them in the large box. I knew they didn't so I was planning on going home with the whole grain ones. Well, I ate my words. Now we are half way through a box of colored fish. Not to worry...my kids haven't eaten them. They have mistaken my car for a home...a funeral home after Bear crunched them.


I know where am I going with it...


While I was vacuuming I sat in the car and felt like I sat on something. Naturally I jumped and screamed thinking it was a mouse. Felt nothing so I went on my merry way. Then while I was in the kitchen...where I don't belong...Kalee told me:

"Mom, did you know you have a hole in your butt?"

"I sure do! So do you and brother and Daddy...that's what God gave us to..."

"No Mom not a butt hole! You have a hole in your butt"

"Um, I'm confused. What's the difference?"

"(sigh) Your jeans Mom! (talking with her hands like she's full blooded Italian) You have a hole in your butt jeans."


Wow! Hopefully no one had binoculars zoomed in on my pink and white Bambi panties. There go my favorite pair of pants. Darn, looks like I have to make a trip to Kohl's (Mom got me addicted to that place).