FAQ About Being "Full of Life"

Don't try to wipe the crusty sleep out of your eyes. You are seeing this right. So why am I blogging again? Well, in the past it was the quickest and easiest way to get information out to family and close friends. My blog address is not the easiest to find and is not shared on Facebook, so unless you already have it, asked me for it, or have been given it by someone like my biggest fan my Mom, you're clueless as to the real happenings and the why....which is what I'm about to explain. :)

I was not feeling well the first of April so I went to my PCM. I explained that Kalee just had Mono in January, told him my medical history and also that there was a chance I could be pregnant but based on my experience with urine tests, it was going to come out negative as it did until I was 9 weeks with Kalee and 7 with Bear. I, the bulldog that I am, demanded blood work. He put in for a pregnancy test, mono, CBC...and a few other things to determine the cause of my tiredness and not feeling normal. You know, the normal that constantly changes in my life?! Well, the results came back in our favor and I found out that I am in fact "full of life"!

Now that the announcement went out on Easter, I seem to be getting a lot of the same question. Can you take a wild guess? The nice wording is along the lines of "Was it a surprise?" but I also get the blunt "Was it planned?" Follow along, I might just be kind enough to answer that politely...this time.

Before I got diagnosed with cancer we were praying about when to have another child. I got diagnosed and clearly I could not justify having any more children. What if...? How...? I couldn't imagine! I just couldn't! We were done, until....last Fall. I was standing at the sink doing dishes thinking about our family, how it felt incomplete. Granted, Max was deployed, but I got to thinking which led into praying and it hit me! Wait a minute, am I letting my history of cancer control my life? I had soooo much faith when I was going through cancer why was I not leaving this in God's hands too? I got reminded once again that I was a control freak. Yes, I try to control what I can instead of giving it ALL to God...including our family size. Was this an internal battle with just my own brain? Well, shortly after, Max said something to me while he was deployed. It was weighing on him too! We agreed to start trying not knowing if I was sterile or not from chemo. Our thoughts -if it was meant to be it was going to happen...not just because we wanted another...but because it was in God's hands.

To answer another FAQ...my Oncologist knew we were trying and when I told him I was pregnant he got a huge smile. He will continue to follow me through the pregnancy and scan me after the delivery. Yes, this one was planned just like Kalee and Bear, not just because we consciously got off birth control and tried, but because it was in God's plan. Were we surprised? Absolutely! :)

For the record, we will have 3 children with birthdays within a 3 week period. I will keep blogging to either entertain you when I start talking about unmedicated deliveries, homebirths and lactating, or cause you to freak out and shake your head. Either way....I'm baaaack! :)